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[walking into the bathroom when my socks get wet]
me, bouncing while grabbing my ass like SUper Mario; WAHAHAHAHAHA,,,,

*facebook shirt voice*

BORN A REDHEAD
RAISED A REDNECK
Along with my 52 TALL SONS
WE STACK TOGETHER
In a giant tower formation
TO REACH THE TOP SHELF
IN OUR SHARED ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT

okay im just gunna come out and say it: twenty-one is too many pilots. there's no way they would all fit in the cockpit, and even if they did, there's no way that all of them would agree on every flight decision. have you ever seen a car with twenty-one drivers? no. what i'm saying is that it's a dangerous message to send to young pilots that they should have twenty other pilots flying the plane with them.

I get well actually-ed by my iPhone at least 150 times a day

light meal typically eaten between 3:30 and 5 pm, originating amongst the wealthy social classes in England in the 1840s: that’s the tea ☕️

*smugly* ah, you drink cashew milk, but you are not a cashew? please to tell me more

Yesterday as I was driving I saw a pink Chevy Aveo with a vanity plate that said “TITTY PINK” on it.

The moral of the Neverending Story is that the best way to deal with bullies is to get a dragon and then run their asses down with your dragon

thinking about “web enabled” kitchen appliances

“Don’t need no hateration, holleration in this instancerie.” - Mary J. Blige, if she were writing a code of conduct for a mastodon instance

I got my study hall class to chant “go off, sis” so I feel like I don’t need to do anything else today.

Good afternoon only to the orb @johnrandom@guillotines.masto.host

just call me Lana Del Dirk today because I’m feeling like a dumb dork sadsack

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